Boy, I tell you a good joke travels fast and even faster if it’s about me! In case you missed it, I had an accident on the way to work yesterday, and when I say “accident”, I don’t mean a fender bender.

My story starts with me driving into work in the wee hours of the morning yesterday. Within minutes of grabbing a quick bite I begin to see that whatever I ate did not agree with me. I got a hint that this wasn’t going to end well when the first gas station restroom I stopped at was out of order. There I was speeding & in pain on I-5! My ride concluded with a sprint into our building and a mad dash for the men’s room that left me 5 feet short!

I’m now minutes away from our first break on the air and my pants are unwearable. Stuck in the men’s room, I call Nina and plead for her help. After convincing her that I wasn’t playing a Baltbuster on her, she brought me a sweatshirt that I wore upside down as pants.

At this point I’m completely embarrassed but relieved that I can still sneak out after the show and avoid my coworkers in the office.
Mission accomplished, I’m heading home, in the clear, and then I get a call from the boss telling me I have to come back to clean the restroom. You got to be kidding! I’m now forced to make a u-turn and return to work wearing my make shift pants!

In another attempt to save myself from shame (notice these are all fails) I muster up the courage to run into a major department store to buy a pair of pants and shoes. I quickly dash in avoiding eye contact with anybody and make my way back to pay and hear the line of the day from the cashier. She says “How’s your day?” Which I responded with “You don’t want to know, you really don’t want to know.”