Bert Fulks is a multi-talented man – teacher, mentor, musician; he wears many hats. He’s a youth-minister, and works with all types of kids. Young geniuses, troubled, struggling, the list goes on. He wrote about a clever idea, a very simple idea, that he and his family use.
It’s called the X-Plan. It’s very simple to use. Long story short, if your child is in some sort of social situation that they feel like they need to get out of but they’re worried that standing up against their friends might alienate them, they simply text someone in the family an “X,” and the bailout begins.
Here’s how it works, according to Bert. He explains a situation in which his son is at a party. Let’s say his friends at the party start sneaking alcohol or something else, and he understands that he shouldn’t be there doing whatever it is that he’s doing, but he doesn’t want to say “hey guys, we shouldn’t do this,” because he’s worried that his friends might make fun of him, or outcast him, never invite him to things again – whatever. He would text someone, mom, dad, brother or sister, “X.” After a few minutes upon receiving the X, that person would then call, say “Hey, something happened and I need to come get you right away, be ready to leave in a few minutes.” That way, he has an out. He says “hey guys, there’s something wrong at home and I have to leave.”
It seems like a pretty cool plan for situations like that, and it sounds like it would work, but one could argue that it prevents your kids from learning how to stand up for themselves or for what they believe in, or perhaps that it teaches them that someone else will get them out of uncomfortable situations; that they can just depend on assistance rather than handling things themselves.
Bert has other rules for the plan, including the fact that once his child is picked up by someone, he or she can either explain the situation or just keep it to themselves, with no assumptions. There are other rules too, like if someone is in danger, he or she MUST speak up, etc.
What do you think about the “X-Plan?” Is it something that you’d consider using, or would you rather your kids handle situations and make judgements themselves?